If I had a mustache...

If I had a moustache I would use it to tickle kitten faces,
teach it to bare knuckle box in itty bitty shorts,
and wax it with whisky into aerodynamic points so I'd break the sound barrier.

If I had a moustache I would carry a long skinny sword--
because that's what you do when you have whiskers,
and make walrus faces in the mirror until very late at night.

If I had a moustache I'd karate chop muskies with my bare hands,
build an igloo-animal-rescue-bomb shelter,
and give it a fancy name--

Like Preston. Or Emmanuel.  Or Jimi Hendrix. 

If I had a moustache it would be a veracious reader
and be first pick for my Pictionary team,
because I could depend on Jimi to always have my back--

or my face.



What would you do if you had a moustache? 

Click the banner below to make your moustache dreams come true! 

Be a Hero: Get The Job

Gentlemen,
You're on the job hunt. Your collar is starched. Your resume is crisp.

You're an American Hero.

Naturally, the employer of your dreams has requested an interview.  Being the go-getter beast you are, you want to look your best and blow their minds.

Here are a few tips to making your first tete-a-tete with your future boss remarkable.

Don't get a haircut the day of your interview. A brand new cut can make you appear over eager. Especially if it's a haircut that doesn't complement your personality. You want to look dynamite not desperate. Plan ahead.

Not too short. Not too long. Shaving your own head in lieu of getting a haircut makes you look insane. As does trying to quaff your long unruly hair into a Trump comb-over. Conservative doesn't necessarily mean boring, it means clean. The goal is to be remembered for your demeanor, not your 'do.

Less is more.  Slimy hair implies overcompensation. (Unless you are applying to be a full time cartoon villain or gelatin dessert.) An easy matte finish exudes confidence. If you have questions about how to properly use product to get the best results, consult your Cg stylist.

A professional badass is always ready for action. Plan ahead and ask your Cg stylist about the Smart and Neat service.









get cut. look good.

Inspiration: The Power Mane

The CG goes in depth with Milwaukee rocker, Maxwell Emmet (guitar shredder of Revolush and Tigernite) to reveal the secrets of his stand out style and sage advice for achieving a righteous power mane.

 How long have you and your hair known each other?

Pretty much all of my life. There's that awkward middle period when  you don't talk to each other but after that, it's been a pretty solid brothership.



 What's the best part about having long hair?

Girls love to ask me about it and touch it—tell me they're jealous of my curls. It requires no talent on my part. Random people talking to you and touching you...and of course head banging ability.

Does having awesome hair make you a better guitar player?

Absolutely. I think the correlation between hair length and ability to rock has been proven throughout rock history.

Is it possible that your hair has any super powers?

I haven't noticed any yet. However, I think we'd have to cut it to find out. It's possible-- If I cut it, I'd fear spiraling into depression...

Do you have any words of wisdom for other power mane seekers on their journey?

For the fellas I'd say, getting past that awkward medium length where you have doubts and cut it off, you'll never reaching your full mane potential.

The moral of the story is to never give up?

Never give up.


That's beautiful.


Pro Tip: Investing in a good conditioner and pony-holders, as well as the Will to Succeed are essential to cultivating a worthy power mane.  
 

get cut. look good.
CG